Hi, it's me Jayda

Putting my entire existence into words is a level of difficulty that is unmatched.

My existence.
My 18 years of life.

For me, driving down memory lane has always consisted of heavy fog. But the deeper I dive into learning who I was, who I am, and who I’m going to be, the more the clouds start to clear.

Looking back, I was unable to be myself. I was an overthinker. Everything I did was for the sole purpose of being perceived as “cool.” I never considered what I actually believed or what I actually wanted to do. I was a follower. A people pleaser.

I can’t fully define who I was because the younger version of me was simply a combination of trends and the opinions of those around me.

Now, I am aware, but motivation controls me.

I am aware of my inauthentic past, so present me wrote a book speaking on the lack of individuality. I am aware of how easily influenced I can be, so I only allow myself to consume content and be around people who help me become the best version of myself.

I am aware of all these things, the good and the bad.

Still, compared to motivation, my awareness is weak. When I lack motivation, I lack progress, even when I’m fully aware of what I should and should not be doing.

Looking into my future, I’m going to make it possible.

My goals, my dreams, and my dream life are all connected to who I am becoming. My future consists of turning those things into my reality. I’m going to learn what I genuinely like, not based on the influence of the internet or the people around me. And I’m going to continue embracing who I am while reading my book to the generation after me, speaking on the struggle of being yourself.

And I’m going to do all of this by embracing what once felt impossible until it becomes possible.

Possibilities are endless.
Deep down, I know that.

A part of me believes I can achieve anything I truly put my mind to. I want to unlock that part of myself. I want to prove to myself that I can make it possible.